For what??

I am a software engineer working with a premier IT firm in India..

It's considered a big achievement. My parents think so, my friends think so and all my relatives think so.. and maybe so do I........ or maybe sometimes...

What am I doing here? What am I doing it for..

For my parents??? No.. can't be... I have been away from home since more than 2 years now... My parents yearn to see me for months and bi-annually, I go to them and say "Present please".......

Am I doing it for my country?... No can't be.... I have been away from my country since more than 6 months now... not even paying the taxes to my country now... as I did for 1 and half years before that... I have forgotten the traffic jams back home, the poverty, the hunger, the piteous life there... I am just overwhelmed by the comfort here in the States.. from the lush greenery of the summers, the colorful falls to the snow-clad winters, the air is always conditioned around me... I have forgotten the sweaty bus journeys in the fierce june summers, fighting to sit to study for exams in the shivering winters ... I have forgotten, my own people are still combatting the intricacies of life there....

Am I doing it for myself?... Maybe... No. Can't be.. I am not happy here.. My family is not here, my friends are away... I am an android here.... working to gratify the clients during the day and delegating the work to offshore at night... or "Coordinating" with offshore as I prefer to say.....

Am I doing it for my company? Ummmm... No...My company has 25000 plus employees like me.. If not me, someone else would step into my shoe..

Am I doing it for the Clients? yes.. maybe... Nah.. Do they really need XP in the year 2005???... why am I migrating them from NT to XP.. Soon, I'll propose them to migrate from XP to Longhorn... and ask them to pay my company millions for that... Gosh.. I am fooling the clients...

Am I doing for humanity.........?.. Ah Yes... But which human being???

As I attempted to try answering these questions, I see myself sunk in vacuum... Ughh...
My conscience is asking me weird questions at 5:00 am local time.. I forgot to sleep tonight.

Just a few hours more, and I will again pursue my aimless regular routine..

For ???????/